For all of you who actually know my mother you know that she is totally anal and OCD about almost everything in life. Therefore, I've appointed her as the contact person for my doctors. Whenever anyone calls me it's a 50/50 chance that it's going to be bad news and when it IS bad news, I'm too busy calming down my anxiety and fighting back tears to listen to half of what they're saying to me on the other end of the phone. If they call my mother, I already know she'll have a list of 37 questions in her mind to ask, carefully writing down every piece of information they give her. Unfortunately for her, she has become the barer of bad news. But I digress.
So Friday my regular doctor calls my mother to discuss my PET Scan from 6/16. The results showed the mass in my left lung, a small spot in my right lung that has been there for over a year (without change) and a new small spot on the right side of my pelvis. When my Oncologist called with these results on 6/20 she stated that because the pelvic spot was so small there was no need to worry about it and we would just monitor it moving forward. Of course, this is unsettling news to someone WITH the small spot in their body because who knows what it could develop into...if anything. Only time would tell.
I tried to push this new unknown nodule out of my mind and focus on what I already knew to be a fact - the soon-to-be removed tumor in my lung. Apparently my normal doctor called my mother this past Friday, 6/24, to tell her that instead of monitoring the nodule he was just going to remove it himself while I was already under for the lung surgery. Because it is such a small spot, he would just do Laparoscopic surgery to remove the nodule from my pelvis. My mother decided to lay this on me tonight rather then have me know all through the weekend and have it weigh on my mind. Of course I'm kind of pissed that it took so long to tell me but at the same time greatful that I had a last and final weekend of somewhat mental peace.
Because laparoscopic surgery is so minimal I'm glad they're getting the spot out even if it is nothing. Of course I'd rather get it out then wait to find out if it is, in fact, something. But seriously; way to pile on the procedures! I joked that maybe I could get a boob lift or some thinner thighs on top of everything else. I mean, why not? I'm going to have more holes then swiss cheese after everything is done anyway, why not add ANOTHER procedure to the mix? It's just another thing to semi worry about and another area of my body that will be in pain when I wake up on Tuesday. JOY!
I just keep thinking back to my first surgery and how much "fun" that was to wake up from. The lovely hospital (Riverview in Red Bank, NJ) that did my first surgery forgot to give me pain medicine before I woke up so I literally felt as if someone was stabbing me in the vagina with a butcher's knife ("forgot" is all I can come up with without saying that whoever was in charge of my pain meds was a complete MORON and should be karate chopped in the jugular several times). I woke up and immediately started screaming, "I FUCKING NEED PAIN MEDICINE!" Needless to say, by the time my second surgery came around I made it a point to tell them of my wonderful first experience and stated that if I wasn't heavily medicated when I woke up that I would probably show up with a rifle a few days later and kill everyone in sight. Because my second surgery was done at Sloan, they knew what they were doing and when it was time to leave I got out of bed and literally walked myself to the car.
I could only hope it will sort of be the same this time - at least while I'm in the hospital. I know they plan on having an epidural in for the length of my hospital stay to control my own pain meds...or at least that's what I remember them saying. We shall see. Tomorrow I find out what time my surgery will be. Nothing like waiting until the last minute, no?
I'll leave you with a picture of me going in for my first surgery - when I still thought what I had was a lousy cyst. It's funny where life takes you, isn't it? Until tomorrow...
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