Ain't That Some Shit?

If you didn't catch it in the middle of my rant in the last post - I am now the proud owner of 26 ducks.

These are baby pictures of my 10 original ones in the order we got them:

6 White Pekins

(March 8th, 2015)

 

2 Indian Runners

(1 week later)

 

2 Khaki Campbells

(2 weeks after that)

 



If you can't tell, I had baby fever. And anyone that knows me, knows I love whatever animal I can get my hands on. Here are my 10 originals now:

These are the 16 new ducks (they were terrified so they're basically on top of each other) and the first time everyone met each other:

 

The gang's all here!

 

 

My boyfriend and I got our 10 originals in early March because I was researching how Cancer thrives off of acidic environments and dies in alkaline ones. So, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try to alkaline my body as much as possible. Of course, going Vegan (or as close to it as I could get since I still love seafood and cheat with 1 or 2 items a week...so yes, I know, I'm technically not Vegan but it's easier to just say "I'm as Vegan as possible" then go into explaining the whole thing over and over...) has helped that tremendously but before I decided to do that, I read how duck eggs are less acidic than chicken eggs. So when my boyfriend wanted to get chickens and I didn't, we discussed the possibility of ducks instead. I mean, who doesn't love little ducklings?! Look at those little angel faces!!

Unfortunately, you cannot "sex" a duck until they reach a certain age so we got 10 ducks without knowing what they would turn out to be. As they got older, we realized we had 6 males (4 of the Pekins and both Indian Runners) - which is no bueno when it comes to ducks. As much as I love my little angelducks (as I've nicknamed them), they can really be little assholeducks quite often.

Male ducks are rapists - it's as simple as that. The problem is, when one duck starts humping, the others come over to do it as well. So my females started getting attacked by multiple males - and I could NOT have that happen.

I found a couple that has some weird makeshift farm close by where they raise chickens, ducks, goats, turkeys, guinea's, cats, dogs...basically whatever they feel like doing that moment. I informed her I only wanted females and was told by another duck breeder that 3 females to every 1 male should be a good enough ratio where the same females wouldn't always keep getting attacked. She wound up having the right amount, at the right age, for the right price...so, voila. Twenty six ducks!

The only problem is, the new ducks must not be as old as I was lead to believe because the same few ducks still keep getting attacked. Other than that, they really require no work at all. We had to build a slight duck-house expansion when we got our 16 new ones, but they aren't harder to deal with and the new ducks are very well behaved.

Duck Palace

We let them out of their house in the morning and put them inside their house at night so they're safe from predators. They have access to food and water along with two pools (one in ground and one above ground - they're so fancy), shelter, shade, a bunch of running room. When I let them out of their pen to roam around the backyard, they stay in the yard (except a few of them have become adventurous and have started testing the waters a few feet into the woods so I've had to run into the high as shit brush to get them out...little jerks). They know where home is and most of the time they listen just like dogs. Plus they're super cute and have funny little behavior quirks that make them fun to watch. However, from being inside their pen most of the time, 90% of it is just dirt...or more like, matted down poop. They poop A LOT. Like, A LOT a lot. And they have no control over it. So they just poop and pee wherever, whenever. I have to clean out the above ground pool at least every other day and pump the in ground one at least once a week. That is definitely not the more enjoyable job.

Since my non-surgery, I've been pushing myself harder than I probably should. I do this every time I have a surgery. It's hard sitting on the couch all day and asking others to help you with everything. Today was no exception. Plus now my lung is starting to heal and beginning to get the weird tight feeling that causes it to hurt when I take deep breaths and kill when I hiccup or internally burp or anything like that. So today, God punished me...in a pretty humorous way.

I was outside with my dogs, looking at the ducks when I noticed one of my female Pekin's neck was missing feathers and she just looked super ratty. I feel bad for her! Since she's one of the 2 oldest (and largest) females, she's always getting picked on. I decided to clean the above ground pool and lock up the 4 big males (the Pekins) so that she could clean herself in peace.

The ground was already a little wet from it raining yesterday so when I dumped the pool out, a large area was totally soaked with mud and a ton of poop. I filled the pool and went to work trying to catch the big ducks. It's hard when they have so much running room, on top of the fact that the ground was wet so I was going slow, and finally the simple truth that I shouldn't be chasing around anything to begin with.

I was able to catch the first duck fairly easily. I found myself running up and down the length of the pen trying to nab the second one so I grabbed a small (and very light) 4ft plastic shovel we use to clean the inside of their house and was attempting to herd the duck into a corner. I was able to get him after a few minutes but by this time I was huffing and puffing. I knew I didn't want to be out there, running around much longer. After a few more minutes of unsuccessful attempts I started getting really frustrated. As I was coming back down the small hill towards the duck house my flip flop (yeah, I really need some good duck shoes) slid on the wet ground and yup, you guessed it. I fucking fell. Right in the middle of the mud which, let's be honest, was really mostly fucking duck poop. And as I hit the ground, I said out loud in one of the most ironic moments, "Ain't that some shit?!" <-- I kid you not.

Covered in duck shit and mud, I was PIIISSSSSSEEEDD. I came at those ducks like a raging bull and was finally able to get the last 2 little assholes into the one side of the house. I left them in there all damn day. Luckily for me, I didn't fall in a way that hurt myself. Probably because as I was going down, I aimed the side of my ass towards the ground and Lord knows I have enough padding there.

My fall was also probably cushioned with the massive amounts of wet duck shit beneath me.

You can stop laughing now.

Needless to say, I spent the remainder of the day on the couch and the ducks sat in time out all day without me feeling an ounce of sympathy for them.