Monday, February 4, 2013

Hallelujah.

The morning of January 31st, 2013 was probably one of the better moments of my life. If anything, it was definitely one of the best having to do with my health. I had taken the day off since my appointment with my oncologist was at 3:30pm that afternoon and was still in bed when the phone rang around 9:30am. It was my doctor. My tests were great - no new masses but the existing ones did change: they were smaller.

It's almost surreal to receive that kind of report after a year and a half of basically consistent bad news. Again, although this is nothing short of a small miracle, my victory is small. I realize this will be a lifelong battle for me but every little piece of positive information gives me, if nothing else, something to smile about for a while.

I decided to treat myself to a mini spa day which included a mani, pedi and a Brazilian (although I'm not sure if I can classify that as treating myself as opposed to slightly torturing myself) before my parents and I headed into the city. My pearly whites were flashing all day (even through the wax). I decided to forgive the nurses and staff from the day before (my blood work/CT's probably would've run smoother if a bunch of six year olds were working the facility for the day) and told God if he wanted to put me through that kind of disarray every time I got tests done for the rest of my life, I would be happy to deal with it as long as the outcome was as good as this last time around.

We waited over an hour from the time my appointment was supposed to be before we were called in. Normally I would've been wearing my face of disapproval (as my friends like to call it) but I was in such a good mood I didn't care if we would've been waiting all night. My oncologist gave me a print out of the scans which just gave an overall synopsis of my results so we requested a more detailed report. We also decided that since the meds were working, I would switch to a 4 month Lupron injection instead of a 3 month. I'm sure it doesn't seem like much to anyone else but to me, it's huge. Dealing with this three times a year instead of four is a big deal to me.

The next day I received a call from one of the nurses from my oncologist's office stating that the radiologist had sent over a more in depth report. It read the following:

Left lower lobe metastasis is now 1 x 0.5cm (previously 1.2 x 1cm). One of right lower lobe metastases is now 0.8 x 0.8cm (previously 1 x 1cm) and the other is now 0.4cm (previously 0.7cm).

It makes no mention of a second mass in my left lung (which I had previously) and all of the others had gotten smaller. I think this report deserves a frame and some wall space.

Although I am incredibly happy with my latest health report, I am still holding onto the fact that life is short. A brave and incredibly good person lost her war with this evil enemy two nights ago. I only hope that I can be as courageous and strong during my fight as she was during hers. You never know which way the road will take you while walking through life.

2 comments:

  1. Hallelujah is right, Erin! Every one of those measurements is proof that miracles do happen in this life. Prayers are powerful and your spirituality is evident, even in your humor about the staff at your diagnostics you go to. Will continue to keep you in prayers and root for you and be inspired by your words here. XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just found your blog through stupidcancer.org and I read the whole thing from the beginning. I am a breast cancer survivor and I have a blog as well.
    nancebeth.blogspot.com
    Your blog is poignant, touching, sad, funny, inspiring and awesome.

    ReplyDelete