Life as I know it.

I decided to take the day off today to lounge around my house with my dogs and watch movies on the couch. Sometimes you just need a breather, you know? I was woken up this morning by a phone call from my doctor's office - scheduling me for an appointment on the 15th. I was kind of pissed that I wouldn't be able to find out what the hell is going on until then so I called my mom to do the dirty work and find out what was actually happening from my doctor.

Side note: My 27th birthday is on the 17th. Happy birthday to me!

My mom called me back a little while later with a bunch of news. I guess you could say it's both good and not so good. I'll start with the good.

First of all, there are three nodules but the third one is actually in my left lung - which apparently was already there before my surgery. This one actually shrunk in size so they don't think it's anything to worry about and do not believe it's cancerous. Which is great! The second piece of news is that she doesn't want to explore chemo at this time...again. Which, of course, I'm thrilled with. The third piece of (semi) good news is that the new tumors in my right lung are so small that there are a few different options I can choose from. Which leads into the not so great news.

The first choice I have is to not do anything and watch to see if they grow during the next 3 months until my next CT's. Apparently quite a few people choose this choice! I mean, to each his own but seriously - I don't want this shit in my body. Get it the fuck out. So that is not even a possibility in my mind. My second option is to get this type of hormonal therapy which would include pills and/or injections. This would throw me into early menopause. GREAT!! My mom didn't discuss this with my doctor but my only concern with that (other then the loads of unwanted side effects) would be if I ever decided I wanted to have kids - would I be able to? I don't know if I want that hanging over my head. And Lord knows I was never a kid person but I still want to know I have the option. The third choice is this less invasive type of surgery where they actually go in and burn the tumors.

She said that she didn't think my lung doctor would want to operate only because I legit JUST had surgery. My mom asked if she could speak with my lung doctor to see what his thoughts on all this would be so that on the 15th we would have all possible options to explore.

The last piece of information I should add is that my doctor said that in the scheme of everything, these tumors are extremely small. The one that has been there for a year or so was a .7 and the new one from my scans in August was a .4. They both grew to a .9. Obviously, it's not a good thing. But, they are still very small. This is the only saving grace I'm holding onto. At least it's not like over the last few months they grew into this giant mass that was taking over my lung. It's still fucking scary and I'm still super upset. But at least I know I have a few options to look into.

Decisions, decisions...